That's pretty much how I feel right now. I'm starting to realize how many people I just plain haven't talked to in so long. But at the same time, I don't know what to say to any of them. I hate losing contact with people, especially when I used to be so close to them all. I'm feeling pretty socially incompetent right now overall. Blech.
I was doing pretty well at getting over this whole clamming up thing, but sometime something happened and I just went all introvert all over again. I'm not even sure what's doing it to me. Maybe its the seasonal affective disorder I was always so convinced I had back in freshman/sophomore year. I even feel pretty disconnected from the roomies and Jenny and Abbi, who I see everyday. This isn't a good start to my new years resolutions.
In school, things are moving forward for me. Professionally, things are moving forward for me. Personally, I'm at a standstill and I have been for a long time. I need something exciting to happen. Something needs to change. Not sure what it is yet. I'll have to get back to you on that part.
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4 comments:
i know exactly how you feel. sometimes I sit in my room and ignore my roommates and refuse to join in any reindeer games. then, when I hear them having fun, I get mad that they are having fun without me.
just make the conscious effort to put yourself out there. it sucks and you probably won't like it at first, but you'll get used to it, and it really is the only way to get over it.
also, apparently Ali Larter is coming back to Heroes? Interesting...
I feel the same way. I feel blah and like not even leaving my apartment. I need to get pumped up...fast!
Usually when I feel disconnected, I make an effort to not just go with people (even if I'm nervous), but I make an effort to relax. If I'm not willing to open myself up to friendship, confidence, adventures and new people, then why should I expect other people to open up to me? Just breathe, relax and allow yourself to feel comfortable in situations you don't believe you belong in. There are too many things in the world that we can't take part in, but if you yourself are limiting what you can experience than that's really unfair. We'll never be perfect or ready for everything, but when we appreciate the effort of ourselves and others we becomes happier and connected by our wants, needs and awkwardness! (SO many run-on sentences in this comment!)
Plus, you're a funny, a friendly, a loyal, a creative and a caring friend-- everyone would be lucky to have you in their lives!
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